Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

ODD is a psychiatric disorder that is characterized by two different sets of problems. These are aggressiveness and a tendency to purposefully bother and irritate others. It is often the reason that people seek treatment. When ODD is present with ADHD, depression, tourette’s, anxiety disorders, or other neuropsychiatric disorders, it makes life with that child far more difficult. For Example, ADHD plus ODD is much worse than ADHD alone, often enough to make people seek treatment. The criteria for ODD are:

A pattern of negativistic, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least six months during which four or more of the following are present:

1. Often loses temper

2. often argues with adults

3. often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules

4. often deliberately annoys people

5. often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior

6. is often touchy or easily annoyed by others

7. is often angry and resentful

8. is often spiteful and vindictive

The disturbance in behavior causes clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning.

Make you Family Strong

Make sure that you are as healthy and strong as you can be

Children and adolescents with ODD will find the weakness in the family system and exploit it. Is there tension between father and mother? They will aim to worsen this. Trouble with the in-laws? These children and adolescents will try to exploit this. Are you out of shape and exhausted after work? That’s when they will be most trying. Are you worried or depressed about something? They will try to figure it out and torment you. Dealing with a child with ODD is very exhausting and trying. It will take about 1/3 to ¼ of all your emotional, mental, and physical resources. If you knew that you would be chopping wood for four hours every day, You would make sure you got enough rest, a good diet, and had plenty of time to relax. The same holds double for dealing with ODD in the long term. You have to take care of yourself in ways you would not have to if your child did not have ODD. This includes things like:

1.     Find a baby-sitter and go out weekly away from this child and your home with your spouse or significant other.

2.     Make sure you have plenty of time to piss and moan about the difficulty of this to your spouse or friends.

3.     Get adequate exercise. There is nothing better to blow off steam than exercise that is fun.

4.     Get enough sleep

5.     Eat well and don’t try to go on a big diet.

6.     Don’t try to do too much. Remember, caring for a kid with ODD is a big job!

7.     Get help if your marriage is in trouble

8.     Do everything you can to stop drinking if you or your spouse has a drinking problem

9.     Make sure you have some hobby you enjoy and can do when things get rough.

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Limit Television

Television is a major force in our lives. Study after study has shown that Television is filled with violence, drug and alcohol use, and sexuality. The average child spends at least 2-3 hours a day watching this stuff. Many children spend 4-6 hours a day watching this. It should not be any wonder then that children who watch a lot of TV are more violent, are more likely to do drugs, and are preoccupied with sex. In a child with a problem like ADHD or ODD, this is clearly something that needs to be done. The American academy of Pediatrics recommends the following: (16)

Limit all media use to no more than 1 to 2 hours per day.

Monitor their children’s use of the media.

Coview television with their children.

It also goes without saying that it is impossible to limit children’s viewing if the parents are watching Television or playing video games all day and night. Turning off the TV is the most effective but radical solution to a host of child psychiatric problems. My advice is to be radical and do it!

Eliminate or reduce video and Computer games

Anyone who has ever seen a child play nintendo can see that there is a very potent force at work here. Unfortunately, the vast majority of computer and video games are violent and are becoming more graphic, not less, in their depiction of violence. As mentioned above, large amounts of television viewing can cause increased psychiatric problems for children. Although there is a less research on games, the same trend is there.

About 33% of children play computer or video games. (11) As anyone who has a child knows, these games can be very addictive. One out of five children from grades 5-8 are as addicted to computer games as an alcoholic is to alcohol. (10) The earlier children start playing these games, the more likely they are to get addicted. Children who play lots of video and computer games aren’t as nice to others. Children who play violent games are more physically aggressive and are not as intelligent.(12) Unfortunately, the question remains whether or not children who are aggressive and have problems are attracted to these games or whether the games make them that way. With TV, the evidence suggests that violence on TV makes more violent kids. Given that video and computer games are a much more powerful medium than TV, I think it is quite safe to assume that they are having a detrimental effect on children.

In November Langston audition for a part on Detroit 187.  He won the part and will play Alice Williams’ Father.  The episode is “Key to the City” will air Tuesday 1/11/2011 on abc  10p eastern time.   Langston  hope you will tell as many people to watch.   Langston is really looking forward to hearing your comments.

KEY TO THE CITY was Directed by Seith Mann.
Seith Mann the award-winning Five Deep Breaths and has directed for The Wire and Grey’s Anatomy Heroes (TV Series), Cold Case, Lincoln Heights, Jericho, Entourage, Friday Night Lights, Men in Trees, and Shark.

A healthy diet that includes poultry, fish, whole grains, vegetables and fruits, nuts, legumes, low-fat dairy products, and unsaturated fats can help control high blood pressure.

via Beating High Blood Pressure with Food – Harvard Health Publications.

LJ’s Open Face Spaghetti Sandwich

Three to four times a Month I make Spaghetti. The kids love it and their friend come do to. I make a meat sauce with hamburger. I always use to much hamburger but that they they like it. After the meal I put the spaghetti in a container and the sauce on top for storage in the fridge. The next day for lunch I bake a loft of garlic bread. Warm the Spaghetti and Meat sauce put on top of the Garlic bread with some cheese. Its different but its so good.

Do you have any “Left Over News”?

Features of “Honey Baked Corned Beef”

My cousin Chuck cooks this for us on Holidays. It is so Good! I think I will try this weekend.

Ingredients for “Honey Baked Corned Beef”

3 1/2 pounds Corned Beef Brisket or bottom Round roast
2 (3-inch) Cinnamon sticks
1 large Onion, diced
1 Tablespoon minced fresh Garlic
1/2 cup Cider Vinegar
1/3 cup Honey

Method of cooking “Honey Baked Corned Beef”

Place meat in an 8-quart Dutch oven and add enough water to cover meat. Add cinnamon sticks, onions, garlic and vinegar. Bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer 2 hours or until meat is fork-tender. Transfer meat to a roasting pan. Brush with honey. Bake uncovered in a 350 degree F oven until top is browned and glazed (approximately 25 to 35 minutes). Baste several times with the pan drippings while baking. To serve, slice beef thin against the grain.

Parents/Players

Basketball training will begin Wednesday June 2, 2010 and will continue throughout the summer until the end of August.

Training days are tentatively scheduled for Monday – Wednesday – Friday – Saturday.

Training times each weekday until school ends will be between 4pm – 7pm

Training time on Saturday will be between 11am – 3pm.

Sessions are available minimum 2 hour segments

Once school has ended – weekday sessions will tentatively be between 1pm – 5pm, Saturdays will stay the same.

If you plan to attend please reply to email ASAP, spots are 1st come basis.

All additional info will be forwarded upon interested replied emails

Thanks
Coach Slappey
248-867-1468

It’s a little lat but here are my recommendations for the summer.

University Of Michigan — Computer Camp
University of Michigan location in Ann Arbor, MI. iD Tech Camps is North America’s #1 summer computer camp and one of a handful of elite summer camps in Michigan. Our summer kids camps and teen camps are designed for beginner to advanced learners. Our popular University of Michigan summer day camps and overnight camps average 6 students per instructor for customized instruction delivered by highly trained adult-only staff. The University of Michigan was founded in 1817 as one of the first public universities in the nation. The campus, made up of modern and historic buildings, is rich with culture featuring many museums. The University is ranked annually in the top-10 universities in the nation according to the U.S. News & World Report.

Michigan 2010 Summer Camps and Clinics
Directory of 2010 Michigan Summer Camps
• All-Sport Speed and Agility
• Baseball • Boys Basketball • Cross Country • Diving • Girls Basketball • Field Hockey
• Football • Boys Golf • Boys Gymnastics • Girls Gymnastics • Ice Hockey • Rowing
• Boys Soccer • Girls Soccer • Softball • Strength and Conditioning • Swimming
• Tennis • Track and Field • Volleyball • Water Polo • Wrestling • Boys Lacrosse
• Girls Lacrosse • Guide for Residential Campers (from U-M Conference Management Services)

University of Huston Sports Camp

Baseball Camp
Men’s Basketball Camp
Women’s Basketball Camp

Football Camp
My son attended this camp he had a wonderful time. I did too, I stayed in Houston for a week and visited local spots. Lots to do and see. Fresh off back-to-back bowl appearances, a Conference USA West Division title and a national ranking for most of the 2009 season, University of Houston head football coach Kevin Sumlin enters his third season poised to lead the Cougars to even greater heights in the national spotlight in 2010.

Women’s Soccer Camp
Softball Camp
Track Camp
Volleyball Camp

What every father should know about taking the “high road”
by Amy Baker

As your family life turns into family strife and you make that change from a married man to a recently separated soon to be divorced man, you probably have a lot on your mind and on your plate. Most likely, at the top of your list of concerns is maintaining a relationship with your children as your family undergoes a major shift. Hopefully, you will never experience a particularly problematic aspect of post divorce life, known as parental alienation. However, it is important that you know about problem so that you can quickly identify it, should you need to.

Parental alienation (PA) is a set of actions and attitudes exhibited by one parent (the alienating parent) with the purpose of undermining and interfering with a child’s relationship with his or her other parent (the targeted parent). There are countless ways in which one parent can try to poison a child against the other parent and many parents exhibit some of these behaviors at some point because there is so much hurt and anger experienced during this transition time However, only a subset of parents use parental alienation strategies in a concerted intentional effort to destroy the child’s relationship with the other parent. These parents employ a full range of strategies on an ongoing basis. Examples include the following:

Badmouthing the targeted parent by constantly highlighting for the child flaws or mistakes he or she has made and sometimes even making up stories and lies to put the targeted parent in the most unfavorable light.

Interfering with contact between the child and the targeted parent by refusing to produce the child for scheduled parenting time and cutting short parenting time with early pick-ups or late drop-offs.

Interfering with communication between the child and the targeted parent by throwing out letters and cards, hanging up on the targeted parent when s/he tries to contact the child, not letting the child come to the phone, and not passing on messages.

Interfering with symbolic communication between the child and the targeted parent by throwing out all photographs of that parent and not allowing the child to talk about that parent.

These are just some of the numerous strategies that alienating parents can use. Unfortunately, some children exposed to parental alienation behaviors eventually succumb to the pressure placed on them through these emotional manipulations and ally themselves with the alienating parent against the targeted parent. When this happens – in the absence of abuse or neglect on the part of the targeted parent — parental alienation syndrome (PAS) has occurred in the child. PAS is considered a syndrome because children who experience it typically exhibit a set of related symptoms that extend beyond the simple rejection of one parent in favor of the other. According to Dr. Richard Gardner, who coined the term PAS, the 8 symptoms include:

A campaign of denigration against the targeted parent in which the child comes to hate and/or fear that parent, when there is no reason for these feelings. That is, the targeted parent has not abused or neglected the child.
When asked to explain this sudden rejection of the targeted parent, an alienated child will provide reasons that are weak, frivolous, and absurd. The explanations for the rejection are often not of the magnitude that would typically lead a child to reject a parent, such as a parent not allowing a child to nap on the couch or serving spicy food to the child.
An alienated child exhibits a complete lack of ambivalence about the alienating parent. The child demonstrates automatic, reflexive, idealized support of that parent. When asked to name one thing that is imperfect about that parent, the child will draw a complete blank.
Even though an alienated child will give the appearance of being programmed or following a script, s/he will refuse to admit any outside influence on his/her behavior and actions. This is what is known as the “Independent Thinker” phenomenon.
An alienated child will not appear to feel any guilt about the poor treatment of the targeted parent. An alienated child will generally behave as if the targeted parent has no feelings and is completely unworthy of common human decency. An alienated child may reject all gifts from the targeted parent or accept gifts but refuse to show appreciation by declaring that the targeted parent does not deserve it.
The sixth manifestation of PAS is that an alienated child will always side with the alienating parent against the targeted parent even when there is no rational basis for doing so. There is no willingness or attempt to be impartial when faced with inter-parental conflicts. The child concludes that the alienating parent is always right and the targeted parent is always wrong, even when there is considerable evidence to the contrary.
When speaking about both parents, the alienated child will use phrases and ideas adopted wholesale from the alienating parent, even when the child does not seem to grasp the meaning of the words and cannot define them. This is referred to as the use of borrowed scenarios and is what gives parental alienation syndrome the appearance of brainwashing.
The final sign of parental alienation syndrome is that the hatred of the targeted parent spreads to his or her extended family. Not only is the targeted parent denigrated, despised, and avoided but so too are this parent’s entire family. Formerly beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins are suddenly avoided and rejected. The family is treated as if it has an infectious disease that is to be avoided at all costs. Alienated children have been known to avoid important family functions such as birthdays, weddings, and even funerals of relatives with whom the child had once been quite close.
If you believe that your ex or soon-to-be-ex is using some or all of the parental alienation strategies, you need to act, before your child exhibits most or all of these PAS symptoms. You may believe that the only recourse short of engaging in a parental alienation campaign of your own is to take the “high road” in which you never point out the mistakes of the other parent, you never say anything bad about that other parent, and you don’t engage in any direct confrontation in front of the children because you don’t want to inflame the situation. Many parents who have taken this high road, conclude that the best course of action is no action.

However, experts in the field concur that there is more to the high road than doing nothing and that sometimes those who interpret the high road as doing nothing become either depressed because they feel helpless and hopeless as the situation deteriorates or they become overly reactive and angry as they suffer one frustration and indignity after another.

In order to avoid these common mistakes, it is suggested that you become fully educated and informed about parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome, you get as much support and counseling as you can, you become willing to look at yourself and make sure that you are not triggering your ex or creating your own problems with your children, and avail yourself of the best mental health and legal advice you can possibly obtain, ideally from professionals who are familiar with and trained in issues related to parental alienation. In addition, you may find a paper by Baker and Fine (2008) helpful, in which they offer specific and concrete suggestions for responding to parental alienation tactics, while staying on the high road.

The article is a little dated but still applies.

How Black Men Influence Teenage Girls

By Mybrotha.COM Staff Writer - April 11, 2006

For a very long time, there has been an increased awareness of the positive, constructive interactions between Black male role-models and Black boys. The lack of fathers in the home and the negativity associated with broken families and “dead-beat dads”, has been center stage in the Black community.

While our attention on the father-son, male role-model/Black male child relationship continues to grow, we cannot forget about the strong influences Black fathers have on their pre-teen and teenage daughters – or how the behaviors of Black males impact the lives of girls around them. A well-rounded father, or any positive male figure, is crucial to the psychological and social development of a teenage girl. What girls see and hear can play an important role in how they respond and react to men as they get older.

For instance, girls who are exposed to different men when their mother’s date frequently, are much more likely to over-experiment with dating themselves. Girls who observe physical or emotional abuse towards their mothers, are more likely to allow similar behavior in their future relationships.

Also, girls whose fathers leave the home early in their lives have the highest rates of both early sexual activity and adolescent pregnancy.

These results are indicative of behavioral patterns associated with absent or irresponsible Black men, and can be explained in a number of ways. The lack of a stable father-figure results in a daughter having greater exposure to her mothers’ dating, which may encourage early sexual behavior if the daughter associates male-attention with happiness.

Another explanation is that girls who live without fathers may undergo early personality changes that steer them towards premature and unstable relationships with men. This often affects self-esteem and self-worth, both of which are tarnished when girls are later exposed to men who ridicule and chastise them.

Negative adult male behavior witnessed by a teenage girl can adversely affect how she reacts to dating, social pressures, sexual propositions, and future male/female relationships. It has long been noted that daughters observe and follow their mothers, but are more influenced by their fathers, or other male authority figures.

Researchers suggest that negative behavior from Black men is highly responsible for many social problems teenage girls encounter. When girls observe men who are sexually promiscuous, physically and emotionally abusive, or instigators of unwarranted or inappropriate attention towards women — they often associate that behavior with the male psyche, and not a single man. As a result, some girls mistakenly believe that the only way to get attention is to behave in a way that men can relate to; or subject themselves to the desires of a man.

“I have never been able to understand why women (though they may have nice bodies) allow themselves to be exploited and degraded in songs and videos.”, says Erica Haley, a freshman computer science student at the University of Alabama.

“They’re just going to regret it later.”, she states.

“One day when the cameras are off and nature starts to disrupt the shapes of their bodies, they’ll wish they spent their time developing something other than a reputation as a ‘video girl’.

Erica and many girls like her, are examples of young women who haven’t allowed an absent father, or bad male behavior to negatively influence their lifestyles. Their positive attitudes can also be attributed to the quality of mothers who raise level-headed daughters.

But over exposure to certain types of male behavior, such as being ridiculed, negatively labeled, or being made to feel inferior — will often cause problems with low self-esteem and low self-image for many teenage girls.

As a footnote, we won’t emphatically conclude that all women who participate in raunchy hip-hop videos, or those who repeatedly subject themselves to bad male behavior — were at some point negatively influenced by a Black man.

But it does make you wonder.